Saturday, June 2, 2012

Post-divorce relationships often require parents to cooperate ...

What do you imagine your post-divorce life will look like? Many people may expect to have little to no contact with their ex-spouse. However, for those divorcing couples who have children, this may not be a reality. Despite little communication between ex-spouses in the past, many divorcing Connecticut couples today maintain a working relationship for their kids.

One of the primary reasons behind this shift is that?fathers' rights advocates have changed expectations for divorces. Traditionally, mothers have been awarded child custody and fathers have been provided with limited visitation rights.

In recent years, however,?statistics show?that more men are contesting agreements that favor women so heavily, which is adding additional challenges to an already touchy subject. Fathers are increasingly re-thinking their priorities and deciding to become more involved in their children's lives. They are willing to persist despite conflict, according to experts, which has created a new set of complications in divorce.

In the past, divorcees went their separate ways after children and property had been allocated. The kids went with one parent, leaving the other to be entirely autonomous and independent. The only interaction the parents had with each other was limited communication about their children.

Today's world does not allow us to behave this way anymore, say legal experts. Even though you may not be living with your ex-spouse anymore, you still have to continue in your role as mother or father. Moving away for a new job or new partner suddenly becomes less feasible, when considering your role as a parent.

In essence, partners re-structure their relationship instead of terminating it. The relationship continues to evolve and exist in spite of traditional notions of divorce.

Observers say that legal reforms may be necessary to bring outdated family laws in line with today's complicated family structures, including same-sex parenting and civil unions. By reviewing our legal constructs, we can accommodate these shifts in societal ideas about relationships.

Whenever custody arrangements are made, the best interests of any children involved must be respected. Of course, some situations necessitate that only one parent has custody of the kids, but children often benefit from regular time spent with both of their parents. Divorcing couples can work together to reach a settlement that satisfies all parties involved, particularly the children.

Source: Huffington Post, "Why divorce doesn't always end a relationship," Vicki Larson, May 21, 2012

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